1 00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:04,352 . 2 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,310 - Hey, hey hey! It's the best day of the year. 3 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:08,965 Happy Cinco de Mayo! 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,184 - I don't think you're allowed 5 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,185 to wear a poncho to work, Hitchcock. 6 00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,664 - Let's fiesta! 7 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,623 [band playing "The Mexican Hat Song"] 8 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:15,798 - Oh, you got a band. 9 00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:18,018 ♪ 10 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:20,281 - Stop, stop! No trumpets! 11 00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,109 Not today! My head is killing me! 12 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,849 - Hit the tequila a little early, huh? 13 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,156 - I'm not hung over, Hitchcock. I've got a tension headache. 14 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,418 I've got the Lieutenant's exam tonight. 15 00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,159 I'm stress-eating like crazy. 16 00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:31,422 I had ten hard-boiled egg yolks this morning. 17 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,163 - Gross. - You're having a high-grade 18 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,512 pre-test freak out. 19 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,949 I've been there. March 13, 2001. 20 00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,168 AP Calc test-- 21 00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,517 - Ames, I hate to cut you off, 22 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,302 but we all know where this story's going. 23 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:42,477 - Oh, yeah? You know that I crapped my pants 24 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,087 in the middle of the test? 25 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,697 - Oh my God, no, I thought you were just gonna say 26 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:46,829 you got a B or something. 27 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,570 - More like a BM. - Noice. 28 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:51,442 - Come on, now Terry's worried about his test and his bowels! 29 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,183 - What you need, Sergeant, is to distract yourself. 30 00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:55,881 NPR has a riveting six hour interview 31 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,274 with Eileen Moon Myers. 32 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:58,841 - Nobody knows who that is. 33 00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,538 - Nobody knows the Associate Principal Cellist in the 34 00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,540 New York Philharmonic? [snorts] Okay. 35 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,934 - Wait! I've got it! I know how to distract Terry. 36 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,979 Captain, remember how you cancelled the last Halloween 37 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,504 heist because there was that emergency gas line explosion 38 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,114 and you said we had to "help out"? 39 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,550 - Yes, I also remember you 40 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,465 refusing to believe the explosion was real. 41 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,206 - Go back to acting school, buddy. 42 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,252 You're way overselling the pain here. 43 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,557 No one's buying it! 44 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,037 Well, it's not like I was the only 45 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,386 one who thought it was fake. 46 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:25,607 - And the Oscar goes to... Trent! 47 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,045 - You said that we should reschedule the heist for 48 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,918 another day, so why not today? To help distract Terry? 49 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:35,095 - Yes! And I would love to defend my crown after I 50 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,531 destroyed you all last year. 51 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:39,534 - Well, I mean, the proposal was all part of my plan. 52 00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:41,579 - All I remember is you bowing to me on your knees. 53 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,233 - Yeah, I was asking you to marry me. 54 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,582 - Well, you look like a fool. 55 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,541 - Neither of you won because Jake swapped out 56 00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:48,456 the real championship cummerbund-- 57 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:49,370 - Belt. 58 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,154 - For the treacly proposal one. 59 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,416 - What? I thought everyone loved that 60 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,026 I used the heist to do the proposal. 61 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,637 - You are wrong--everyone hated it--but it helped me win. 62 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,943 During your engagement celebration, I snuck back 63 00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,728 and found the original cummerbund. 64 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:00,946 - Belt. 65 00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:02,600 - It's hanging up in my living room at home. 66 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,515 - I never thought I'd say this, but enough foreplay! 67 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,560 Are we heisting or not? 68 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,431 - Yes! - Of course! 69 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,129 - Wait, I will only do this under one condition. 70 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:12,132 Sergeant Jeffords agrees that this will help his nerves. 71 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:15,265 -Yeah, I mean, I would like to take my mind off the test. 72 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:17,137 And maybe I'll win this year! 73 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,747 - Ah, the heist is already working. 74 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,836 Sergeant Jeffords has recovered his sense of humor. 75 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,011 [laughter] - Hey! 76 00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,186 - All right, but for real, though. 77 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,274 Are we doing this? 78 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,275 -We're doing this! - Heist! 79 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,407 - Heist! - Heist! 80 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,452 - It's a Cinco de Mayo heist! 81 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,237 - A Cinco de Mayo heist 82 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,499 makes just as much sense as Halloween! 83 00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:32,282 Let's do it! 84 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,285 [upbeat music] 85 00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:42,597 ♪ 86 00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,912 - Welcome one and all 87 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:58,308 to the first ever Cinco de Mayo Halloween Heist 6! 88 00:02:58,352 --> 00:02:59,788 We're still working on the title. 89 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,529 - No need, I love it! - Thank you, Charles. 90 00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,313 Now, before we go any further, 91 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:04,706 we should probably choose an item to steal. 92 00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,360 Does anyone have anything valuable on them? 93 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,883 Maybe some jewelry? 94 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:10,190 - I have a medical alert bracelet that tells people 95 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:13,018 my name and address, in case I have a brain collapse. 96 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,846 - Perfect, this year's champion will be whoever's in possession 97 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,675 of Scully's very upsetting bracelet at midnight tonight. 98 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,286 - I take my test at 6:30. - You know what, Terry? 99 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,635 You're kind of making this a nightmare. 100 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,376 Maybe you just shouldn't participate. 101 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,551 - So this really isn't about helping out Sergeant Jeffords? 102 00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:24,682 - What? - I guess I'm out. 103 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,206 - But--no, no, no, no, come on. 104 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,251 Of course I'm 100% in support of Terry. 105 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,600 In fact, I'm going to team up with him. 106 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,036 - [laughs] Let's do this! 107 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,647 - You are so easily manipulated. 108 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,823 Now you're stuck with Sergeant Dumb Dumb. 109 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:35,824 -Damn it. - Hey. 110 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,261 - Santiago, shall we join forces? 111 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:41,438 - Ooh, smart, teaming up with the reigning champ. 112 00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,875 - Again with this nonsense? I'm the reigning champ. 113 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,661 The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of 114 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,185 mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake. 115 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,447 - [gasps] How dare you. 116 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,144 No one thinks you won last year. 117 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,972 - Wow, really thought the "how dare you" was going to be 118 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,148 linked to his mean sex comment, but okay. 119 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,759 - Right, sorry. I'll have you know 120 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,849 Jake and I wear each other out every single night. 121 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,764 - Good lord, overcompensating. You know what? 122 00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,461 Maybe we just shouldn't talk about this at work. 123 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:07,421 - I'm texting Kevin to bring the cummerbund. 124 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,814 You'll see who the real winner is, you braggy breeders. 125 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,903 - A lot of infighting. Not too late to ditch 126 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,819 Amy and team up with this pussycat burglar. 127 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,604 - Please, Boyle, your only value was 128 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,388 you had a doppelganger which no longer matters 129 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,216 since Bill died in that accident. 130 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,565 - RIP, Bill. - So sad. 131 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,437 - I can still be useful without Bill! 132 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,308 No hole's too tight for these tiny tips. 133 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,528 [groaning] For stealing stuff! 134 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,094 - [sighs] - Well, fine. 135 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,835 Looks like I'll just team up with my friend Rosa. 136 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,707 - I'm out. Five heists was enough. 137 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,274 We've exhausted every possibility of this thing. 138 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,971 Literally nothing new can happen. 139 00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:37,320 It's boring. 140 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,539 You can have a long lunch with me instead. 141 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,105 - Ooh, lunch? The devil's breakfast. 142 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,759 - Well, forget it. - Okay, I won't call it that! 143 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,413 I just want to be included in something! 144 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,850 - Okay, that whole lunch thing was clearly a ploy. 145 00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:48,331 But even still, I'm not worried about losing to Boyle. 146 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:49,854 - No one is. He's a joke. 147 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,465 All right, let's get this thing going. 148 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,467 Scully will be locked in the supply closet 149 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,599 with his bracelet. - Can I lie down on the floor? 150 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:56,905 - Uh, yeah. You can do whatever you want. 151 00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,733 And you're already on the ground. 152 00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,430 With Hitchcock. And you both have pillows. 153 00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,780 - Best day ever! 154 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,956 - There. Now they're locked in. 155 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,218 Arrange your affairs. 156 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:07,785 The heist begins in five minutes. 157 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,570 - Five minutes? But this whole thing was so last second! 158 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:11,441 I don't even have any plans or supplies! 159 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:12,964 I have so many plans and supplies. 160 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,270 I even have a victory banner 161 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,576 that unfurls with a voice command. 162 00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:16,968 I can't say what, but it's so cool. 163 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:18,927 - I thought this was a spur-of-the-moment fun way 164 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,972 to distract me from freaking out about my exam! 165 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,670 - Well, it wasn't exactly hard to predict, Sarge. 166 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:25,063 Your catchphrase is "Terry hates tests." 167 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,630 - It's true. Terry hates tests! 168 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:27,936 - But the point is, I planned everything, 169 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,633 starting with Scully's bracelet. 170 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:30,982 It had to be the prize because I have prepared 171 00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,593 the greatest reveal in heist history. 172 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,596 Allow me to introduce you to... 173 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,728 Other Scully. 174 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,644 - Hi, I'm Earl, Norm's twin brother. 175 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,167 - [mimicking explosion] - Why's Scully never mentioned 176 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:43,821 he had a twin before? 177 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,519 - Because no one talks about their siblings with coworkers. 178 00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:46,998 - I've told you about my brother Lawrence. 179 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,348 - Nope, and I don't want to learn about him 180 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:49,610 and I already forgot his name. 181 00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,002 Now let's go. It's time to heist! 182 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,222 - No movement yet. So here's our plan. 183 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,443 After watching everyone coo over your maudlin proposal, 184 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,401 I've decided we should employ a similar diversion. 185 00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,837 - Smart, I'm in. - You will tell Jake 186 00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:01,273 you are pregnant with his child. 187 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,666 - What? I'm not pregnant. 188 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,102 - Here is a positive pregnancy test 189 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:05,495 and a sonogram of your fetus. 190 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,192 Congratulations. It's a girl. 191 00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,933 - Feels a little mean to play with Jake's feelings 192 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,413 like that, sir. - You're right, it is mean. 193 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:11,675 Too bad. 194 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,808 As your mentor, I command you to do it. 195 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,287 - Wow, okay. 196 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:18,073 Perhaps we should discuss some other options. 197 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,335 - There's no time, look. 198 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,858 Peralta's going for the bracelet! 199 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,643 - How'd he get him free so quickly? 200 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,079 - See ya later, losers! 201 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,297 - Not so fast! 202 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,039 [taser crackling] - [grunting] 203 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,301 What the hell was that? 204 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,738 - That Fitbit I gave you at Christmas? 205 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,435 I modified it into a taser. 206 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,394 - What? Do you even want me to get into shape? 207 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,134 -Yeah, but not as much as I want to win. 208 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,440 Buzz buzz, bitch. 209 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:38,789 - I've got Scully. Come on, let's go. 210 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,357 [taser crackling] - [muffled shout] 211 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:45,492 No! Nooo! 212 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,189 - Yes. 213 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,495 - Fake heist went perfectly. 214 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,192 - So did the real heist. 215 00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,542 - Why is your face twitching like that? 216 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,196 - Oh, Amy tased me a bunch. I bit my own tongue. 217 00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,241 It was awesome. Was it hard to get through the door? 218 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:57,765 - No. I'm strong as hell. 219 00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,723 The hard part was getting this bracelet off Scully's wrist. 220 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,552 How can you even feel your hand with this thing so tight? 221 00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:03,640 - You're supposed to feel your hand? 222 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,076 - Well, that's terrifying. 223 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,600 Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to hide 224 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,340 the old bracelet and win me this heist. 225 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,733 - Don't you mean win us this heist? 226 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,127 - Oh, Terrence, unfortunately I do not. 227 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,086 - What the hell? 228 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,305 - Sorry, Sarge. 229 00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,654 It had to be this way. - Why? 230 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:18,916 - The banner only has my name on it. 231 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,265 It's really all about the banner. 232 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:21,658 It unfurls by a voice command. 233 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,094 But I promise that I will mention 234 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:25,488 both you and Earl Scully in my victory speech. 235 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:26,837 - Wait, Earl's here? 236 00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:27,925 - Yeah. He helped us with the heist. 237 00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,492 - I told that son of a bitch 238 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,668 never to show his face in New York again! 239 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,104 - Why are you running towards the glass? 240 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,585 [glass shatters] 241 00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:38,196 - You're a dead man, Earl! 242 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,241 - That's not great. 243 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:40,547 - You're a dead man, Jake! 244 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:41,896 - Uh, that's much worse. 245 00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:45,160 . 246 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,292 - Squirt more lube and help me yank. 247 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:48,424 - Ugh, you know that fun braggy recap 248 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,773 we do at the end of each win? 249 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:50,774 Can we leave this part out? 250 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:51,906 - [grunts] Yes. 251 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,081 We'll make up a cooler thing. 252 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,778 But for now, we lube and yank. 253 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,564 Wrap your legs around him to anchor yourself. 254 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,739 - Yep. Here we go. 255 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,481 [grunting, screaming] 256 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,917 - Earl? Earl! 257 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,180 - Norm? 258 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,616 Norm? - What the-- 259 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,965 - I'm so happy your friend invited me to-- 260 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,097 - I told you what would happen 261 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,533 if I ever saw you again, Earl. 262 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,622 - What is going on? What am I looking at? 263 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,537 - Scully has a twin brother named Earl. 264 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,234 Jake brought him here to trick you. 265 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,627 - Thank you for the ride, Terrence. 266 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,542 Apparently they don't get along very well. 267 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,326 - We did get along. We were inseparable, 268 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,980 until Earl slept with my wife. 269 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,460 - It's not my fault she wanted 270 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,157 to have sex with a stud instead of a dud. 271 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,420 - Stud? Your face looks it's been kicked in by a horse! 272 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,031 - Well, your mouth looks like a butthole! 273 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,685 - Your whole body looks like a butthole. 274 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:32,729 - And you look identical. 275 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,557 - [grunting] 276 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:35,906 - [gurgling] 277 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,212 - Should we help Scully? 278 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,561 - I'm not touching this. 279 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,172 [grunting] 280 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,871 - [screams] 281 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,699 - There's nowhere to run, Earl! 282 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,049 - Well, that was a real mind eff. 283 00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,616 Good-bye. - Just so you know, 284 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,356 Jake has the bracelet in his pocket. 285 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,793 - Why would you tell them that? We're a team! 286 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:53,968 - You locked me up. 287 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,317 - Yeah, but they didn't know that! 288 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,884 - There's no bracelet in his pocket! 289 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,277 - What? There should be. 290 00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:00,540 Where'd it go? 291 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,368 - Shalom, partner. - Dope. 292 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,022 - And you thought Shlomo Ben-Yisrael 293 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,284 wouldn't come through. 294 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,156 - No, I said the name and the costume 295 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,245 were offensive, bordering on actionable. 296 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:12,464 - Well, it worked. Jake brought in Scully's twin 297 00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:14,641 just like I planned when I connected them on Facebook, 298 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,381 but he had no idea they hated each other. 299 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,948 And when everyone was fighting, 300 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,211 they were too distracted to notice old Shlomo. 301 00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:22,387 They all underestimated me, Rosa, but today, 302 00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:25,477 they will learn the error of their ways, for today, 303 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,437 I will prove that nobody gets the best of Charles Boyle. 304 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,873 - I doused your beard in chloroform. 305 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:33,703 - Really? I find that very hard to beli-- 306 00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,706 [triumphant music] 307 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,535 ♪ 308 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,972 - Where's this goin'? - All the way to Trenton. 309 00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,626 Take your time. 310 00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,628 - Aah, perfect. 311 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,369 - What? What happened? You know where the bracelet is? 312 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,414 - No. Kevin has arrived with proof that I am 313 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,112 the only two-time winner of the heist. 314 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,461 - Here's your cummerbund, Raymond. 315 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,245 - We don't have time for this, sir! 316 00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,551 I'm gonna go search the first floor. 317 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,248 - And I will search the second floor. 318 00:09:57,292 --> 00:10:00,382 We are an inseparable team. 319 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:01,601 That was a devious fib. 320 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:04,299 I'm betraying her even as we speak. 321 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,649 - Hey, Kev. - Diaz and I are covertly 322 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,696 working together. She snuck up through the vents. 323 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,219 This is a major reveal. 324 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,916 I feel like you're not appreciating it. 325 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,657 - I don't like these heists, or what they bring out in you. 326 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,007 - Oh, clam it, Kevin. - "Clam it"? 327 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,008 Cheddar, perhaps we should leave. 328 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,401 - No, Cheddar stays. 329 00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,185 He still has an important role to play. 330 00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,318 Give me Mr. Hootsworth. 331 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:26,364 No one would ever think of looking for the bracelet 332 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,366 in Cheddar's favorite chew toy. 333 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:31,282 - Or do you mean Jake's favorite chew toy? 334 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,719 [chuckles] 335 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:36,157 Well, thank God no one was around to hear that. 336 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,855 Ah! There you are. I've been looking all over. 337 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,292 Woah. That's a lot of yolks. Are you stress eating again 338 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:42,990 or is this just a small Terry snack? 339 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,295 - I'm stress eating, Jake! 340 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,470 My snack yolks are in that bowl. 341 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:47,124 - Oh. Well, stop eating eggs 342 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,430 and come help me with the heist! 343 00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:49,692 - I'm not helping you. - Why not? 344 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,433 Ugh, is this because I once betrayed you? 345 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,130 - Yes! It was our last interaction. 346 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,349 - And it was a huge mistake 347 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,742 and I now realize that our friendship 348 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,482 is way more important than any stupid banner. 349 00:10:57,526 --> 00:11:00,268 Look, the bracelet is in Cheddar's chew toy. 350 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,139 I know because I bugged Holt's cummerbund. 351 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,141 - You did? - Yes! I figured he would 352 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,708 bring it in to show off. Now let's do this! 353 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,231 - I don't know. 354 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,406 - Look, Sarge, I'm sorry, okay? 355 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,234 I can't undo the past, but come on. 356 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:11,758 Would you rather win the heist with me or sit 357 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,325 around swallowing eggs like Birdo from "Super Mario 2"? 358 00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:16,327 - Birdo doesn't eat eggs. Birdo spits them! 359 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,938 - Oh, my God, you got that reference, Terry? 360 00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:21,724 We're the perfect team! Come on, Sarge, please? 361 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,421 - Fine, I'll help. - Ah! Wonderful. 362 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,684 But, before you fully commit, 363 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,511 I should probably give you the heads-up. 364 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,731 My plan is very elaborate and you might get a little messy. 365 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,864 - I'm in. It's the heist, baby! 366 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,822 Now let me know how we get that chew toy. 367 00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,215 - All right! Okay. 368 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,564 First, I infiltrate Holt's office and continue 369 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,522 our argument about who won last year's heist. 370 00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:40,525 - How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero! 371 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:43,354 It's one bund to none, son! Tell him, Kevin. 372 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,355 - I'm leaving. 373 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,705 - It doesn't matter-- 374 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,315 - As Holt argues with me I will be covertly 375 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,317 releasing more water into Cheddar's bowl. 376 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,362 Then we sit back and wait for... 377 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,147 [Cheddar whimpers] - Potty time again? 378 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,626 - What if he takes him downstairs? 379 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,324 - He won't. I spent a lot of time 380 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,065 making clandestine searches on Holt's computer. 381 00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:01,285 Now all of his targeted ads direct him straight to... 382 00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,418 - The Puppy PeePee Pad. Intriguing. 383 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:04,854 - He bought one and put it out 384 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,508 on the roof next to Gina's golden statue. 385 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,466 And, because he believes that Cheddar deserves 386 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,381 to pee in privacy like any other self-respecting adult, 387 00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:13,776 he will leave Cheddar outside alone to do his business. 388 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,039 - Notify me when you're done, via bark. 389 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,562 - While Holt guards the door, 390 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,087 you'll be swapping out Mr. Hootsworth for this. 391 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,741 - That all sounds great, 392 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,351 but how do I get onto the roof without Holt noticing? 393 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,222 - Oh, Sarge. You'll already be out there... 394 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:28,356 In a perfect golden disguise. 395 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,228 - The plan worked! I got it! 396 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,969 - Oh my God, you look like an Oscar. Ooh! 397 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,579 We should take a picture where it looks like I'm holding you. 398 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,798 - Jake. -You're right. 399 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,408 There's no time. We'll do it later. 400 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:38,540 - No, we won't! Help me get this paint off! 401 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,846 - Okay, put your hands out and 402 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,238 I'll squirt you with a little makeup remover. 403 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,239 Hi-ya! 404 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,414 - No! 405 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,547 You're betraying me again? Why? 406 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,201 - Because of the banner! 407 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,811 - But I thought you said our friendship was more important! 408 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,465 - Yeah, that was obviously a lie. 409 00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:51,683 The banner was very expensive! 410 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:52,859 I don't have a lot of money, Sarge. 411 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,905 All right, bye. 412 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:56,993 Don't make a lot of noise. 413 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:00,257 . 414 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:02,564 - Howdy. I just got back from lunch with Charles, 415 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:03,826 who is not here. I am real glad 416 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,349 I skipped the heist. Say, who is winning? 417 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,742 - I don't know, but I know that I am not winning. 418 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,875 - Interesting, it is also not me. 419 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:09,876 - Uh, why are you guys acting so weird? 420 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,442 - Gah, weird? 421 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,662 Would a person who is acting weird laugh like this? 422 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,359 A huh-huh huh-ha, carefree! 423 00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:16,926 - Yes. - Jake! 424 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,059 - Oh, Terry, you ripped yourself free. 425 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,800 - Yeah, maybe you should try cuffing me 426 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,323 to a stronger metal next time. 427 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,672 - Yeah, I don't know the relative strength of metals. 428 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,934 - What's going on? 429 00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,283 Why does Terry look like an Oscar? 430 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,372 - Doesn't he? - He has the bracelet! 431 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:29,504 We grabbed Mr. Hootsworth 432 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,114 from Cheddar and swapped it for a fake! 433 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,769 - Wow, Terry, my betrayals were all in good fun, 434 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,988 but this really hurts. 435 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,555 - Cheddar, bring me Mr. Hootsworth. 436 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,471 It's an updated model. 437 00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:43,257 The bowtie is Turkish blue instead of Egyptian blue. 438 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,780 How could you not have noticed this? 439 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,564 - Because he's a dog. 440 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:50,742 And at the end of the day a dog is no match for Jake Peralta. 441 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,701 - Well yours is a fake, too. Turkish blue bowtie. 442 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:53,920 - Oh, come on! The one time 443 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,312 I say out loud I'm smarter than a dog? 444 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,748 - If I have a fake and you have a fake, 445 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,446 who took the real bracelet? 446 00:13:58,489 --> 00:13:59,969 - I did. - Kevin? 447 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,579 - I swapped out Mr. Hootsworth for a fake 448 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,277 while you were arguing with Peralta. 449 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,235 - How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero! 450 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,846 It's one bund to none, son! 451 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:09,326 - You betrayed me? But why? 452 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,937 - I can't have more of these trophies in our home. 453 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,155 The cummerbund was already in the living room. 454 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,896 What's next, a rusty medical bracelet 455 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,550 suspended above our bed? 456 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,117 - Yes! Now hand it over. 457 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,596 - I don't have it. I gave it to Amy. 458 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,120 - [gasps] - Santiago. 459 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,122 - You betrayed me as well? - You betrayed me first. 460 00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,732 You were working with Rosa this whole time. 461 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:24,951 - That wasn't real. 462 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,343 I was always gonna stab her in the back. 463 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,910 - You were? What kind of person treats 464 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,477 another human being like that? 465 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,826 - You tricked me, Rosa! 466 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,436 And then you shipped me to New Jersey! 467 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,134 - First of all, grow up. Second of all, how'd you 468 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,265 get back here so fast? 469 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,701 - If you get a box wet enough, 470 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:37,789 it's very easy to bust out of it. 471 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,139 - No one ask any follow-ups! 472 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,705 - I knew I couldn't trust you, Rosa. 473 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,490 That's why I was going to double-cross you with Bill. 474 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,535 That's right, he didn't really die. 475 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,929 - Hey, guys, you really thought I'd miss this year's heist? 476 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,496 No way, I'm part of the squad. 477 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:49,932 - No. - Not true. 478 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,151 - Okay, this is official getting hard to track. 479 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:52,848 Who has the bracelet now? 480 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,197 - Santiago. 481 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,503 - Yeah! And none of you are getting it! 482 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:56,678 - We'll see about that. 483 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,419 [taser crackling] - [groans] 484 00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,681 What the hell? 485 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:01,161 - Remember that very fancy Swiss pen I got you 486 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,510 for Christmas, the one that you keep in 487 00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:05,121 your pocket at all times? It's a taser, bro. 488 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,949 [beeping] - Uuugh! 489 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,951 I'll take that. Amy, do not make me tase you again. 490 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,910 - No, no, no, no, don't! I'm pregnant! 491 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,737 - What? - I just found out. 492 00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,522 It's a girl. - Oh, my God! 493 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,219 - Oh my God, it's happening! 494 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,873 Quick, someone get a reaction video of me becoming an uncle! 495 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,702 - She's making it up. The pregnancy scam was my idea. 496 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,356 - No. No, no, no, no, Amy. 497 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,358 Wait, is that true? Did you just lie to me about our baby? 498 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:25,968 - Yeah, did you lie to us about our baby? 499 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,970 - You tased me! - You tased me first! 500 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,450 - Enough! Terry's had enough of this. 501 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,539 This was supposed to be 502 00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:34,716 just a fun game but it's turned you all into terrible people. 503 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,501 Betraying your husband, putting your friend in the mail. 504 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:40,200 Jake and Amy, did you guys buy each other any gifts 505 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,984 this year that weren't tasers? 506 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,246 - No. - No. 507 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,205 - You all pretended that this was all about 508 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:48,860 helping me with my test. But none of you cared one bit! 509 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,385 You know what? You all suck! 510 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,603 [beeping] 511 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,823 - Oh no, my voice command. Terry, look out! 512 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,520 - [groans] 513 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:59,175 - Okay. I know that was bad, but let's not jump to 514 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:01,569 any conclusions about whose fault it was. 515 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:06,139 all: ♪ Jacob Peralta, Jacob Peralta ♪ 516 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:09,055 ♪ This was all his clever plan ♪ 517 00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,709 - Wow, what a fun improvised song. 518 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,885 all: ♪ This was all his clever plan ♪ 519 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:17,411 - His eyes aren't focusing and he hasn't referred to himself 520 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:20,588 in the third person in minutes. He's clearly concussed. 521 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:21,937 - Guys, this is bad. 522 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,504 The Lieutenant's exam is in 30 minutes. 523 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,985 - Okay, look, let's just get him to One Police Plaza 524 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,421 and hopefully he'll wake up on the way. 525 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,249 Charles, help me pick him up. - Copy that. 526 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,381 He's too heavy. We can't do this. 527 00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,209 - God! How does he lift weights and also lift his arms? 528 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:34,732 This is impossible. We'll never get him there. 529 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,256 - So you guys need help moving a body? 530 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,648 Thank God old Bill's part of the squad. 531 00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:41,522 I mean, assuming, I am part of the squad. 532 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,438 - Yes, sure. - Totally. 533 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,267 - Oh, yes, finally. I have somewhere to live. 534 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,790 - What? - Meet me in the alley next to 535 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,139 my shopping cart. It's the one with all the cans. 536 00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:51,532 - Seems like his plan is 537 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:52,881 just to put Terry in the shopping cart. 538 00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,013 - Correct. We'll take it! 539 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:57,016 [driving mariachi music] 540 00:16:57,059 --> 00:17:00,323 ♪ 541 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,933 - Room 410 is this way! 542 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,805 Okay, we got him here with one minute to spare. 543 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,502 - Yes! I knew we could make it. All right, Sarge. 544 00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,287 You ready to go in there and ace this thing? 545 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,071 - Yeah, I can't believe it, I'm gonna be a pilot! 546 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,986 - Okay, well, that's not great. - There's no way he can take 547 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,466 the test in that condition! 548 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:13,989 - You're right. Amy, you're going to have to 549 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,425 crawl inside his shirt and operate 550 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,948 his arms for him. It's a Ratatouille situation. 551 00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,472 - On it. - No. It's over. We have to go 552 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,126 in there and tell them that he won't be making it. 553 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,562 - So that's it then. 554 00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,085 Rosa, you should probably go in first since 555 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,391 this is mostly your fault. - Dude. 556 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,219 - All right, fine, I'll do it, jeez. 557 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:32,051 - Wait. Where is everyone? Where are all the desks? 558 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,139 - What is happening? 559 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,315 What's happening is... 560 00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,405 You all suck! [beeping] 561 00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:41,669 all: ♪ You all are losers, you all are losers ♪ 562 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:43,975 ♪ And Terry Jeffords is the best! ♪ 563 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:47,370 ♪ You are all losers, you are all losers ♪ 564 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,372 ♪ And Terry Jeffords is the best ♪ 565 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,244 - Son of a bitch stole my song. 566 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:53,159 . 567 00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:55,291 - Wait, Terry has the bracelet? 568 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:58,077 - That's right. Me and my teammate Terry won. 569 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,253 We fooled you all. 570 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,603 - You didn't do [bleep]! - Okay, well, neither did 571 00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:04,387 Jordan's teammates, but they still got rings. 572 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,607 All right, fine. Just tell us how you did it. 573 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,957 - Well, first, for my plan to work, it had to happen 574 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,351 on a day when I could control everything. 575 00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,395 I couldn't let it be Halloween. 576 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,267 - You faked the gas explosion! 577 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,356 - Yeah, stupid actors almost blew it. 578 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,879 - What was with that moaning, Trent? 579 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,055 I thought you studied at the Lee Strasberg Institute! 580 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,883 - It doesn't mean anything. They just take your money! 581 00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,407 - Oh, that is a huge relief. I felt so bad about poking 582 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,105 that guy's wound to make sure it was real. 583 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,541 - You should still feel bad about that. 584 00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:28,977 - No, it was all fake. I'm totally absolved. 585 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,544 Continue with your story, Sarge. 586 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,633 - I knew you'd suggest a heist as a distraction from 587 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:35,505 my Lieutenant exam, then all I had to do was sit back 588 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,291 and watch as everyone took things way too far. 589 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,031 - But how'd you know we'd get so out of hand? 590 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:43,034 - I spent the last six months sowing the seeds of conflict. 591 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,646 - Man, I am so sick of Jake saying he is the only 592 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,474 two-time Halloween heist winner. 593 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:50,303 both: I'm the only two-time Halloween heist winner. 594 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:51,652 - I can't believe everyone says you're 595 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,436 not helpful during the Halloween heist. 596 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,309 Just because they all think your fingers are too big. 597 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,311 - We'll show them. 598 00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,226 - Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. 599 00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,750 Boy, that's hung in a real prominent place, isn't it? 600 00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:05,187 - Not for long. I was manipulated? 601 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,102 - Sorry, Kevin. - Don't apologize to him, 602 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,321 Terry. It's his first heist. 603 00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:09,974 He needs to learn. Keep going. 604 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,586 - Well, after I got everyone acting like maniacs, all I had 605 00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:15,850 to do was make you feel bad by "knocking myself out." 606 00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,156 - The banner. 607 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,635 But how did you learn my voice command? 608 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:21,812 - I didn't have to. I sold you the damn thing! 609 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,205 - No. 610 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,207 I want it to unfurl when I say, "You all suck." 611 00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:26,339 [through voice distortion app] - Absolutely. 612 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,514 Pleasure doing business with you. 613 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,994 - The pleasure was all mine. 614 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,300 [click] 615 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,388 That's gonna work. 616 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,477 I spent $1,800 on that thing! 617 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,653 - You did? - Amy, stop interrupting. 618 00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,220 Terry's doing his big speech. 619 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,396 - Anyway, once my fake concussion was 620 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,225 on display, I created the perfect distraction 621 00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,228 for my partner to do his job. 622 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,276 - Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch. 623 00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,060 - I've been training Cheddar for months. 624 00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:54,628 - Wow, what a fun improvised song! 625 00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:55,890 - When I swapped the Hootsworths, 626 00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,718 I put a magnetic collar on him! 627 00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:00,634 From there, Cheddar followed us all the way 628 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:03,550 to One Police Plaza, where he hand-delivered 629 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,900 the bracelet to me right outside this room. 630 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,858 - But, wait, what about the Lieutenant's exam? 631 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,425 Aren't you supposed to be taking it right now? 632 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,340 - Hell no, I took that thing weeks ago. 633 00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,386 And I passed! I'm already a lieutenant! 634 00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,778 - You are? - That's incredible! 635 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,563 - Lieutenant Jeffords! - This is amazing. 636 00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:19,392 - I'm so proud of you, Terry. 637 00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:20,871 - All right. You've overstepped now, Bill. 638 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,917 - Yeah, it's weird you're here, Bill. 639 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,267 - To Terry Jeffords, the ultimate human being 640 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,009 slash genius. Nice work...Lieutenant. 641 00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:30,403 all: Yeah! - Thanks, squad! 642 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:31,882 - Also the next heist will be at Halloween, 643 00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:33,754 so you'll only be champion for six months. 644 00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:36,104 This is half a win at best. - Sounds about right, yeah. 645 00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:37,584 - Yeah. - Pretty garbage. 646 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,760 - Hey, Scully, so you and Earl made up? 647 00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,718 - Yup. Hitchcock helped us realize 648 00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,416 we shouldn't fight just because we're so different. 649 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,592 - Yeah. To our differences! [mugs clink] 650 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,464 [together] Oh, dang it! 651 00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:49,770 [simultaneous farts] 652 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,075 [together] Ooh, double dang it. 653 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,426 - What? - Oh, my God. 654 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,254 - Terry, what you did today was awesome 655 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:58,518 and I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I took things too far. 656 00:20:58,561 --> 00:20:59,780 - Are you kidding me? 657 00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,085 I was just guilting you as a tactic. 658 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,522 I love how crazy the heist gets. 659 00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,219 - Okay, good, 'cause what I really wanted to say 660 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,700 is next heist I'm gonna drown you in your own blood. 661 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,267 - Oh, yeah? Well, then I'm gonna rip your arms off 662 00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,268 and beat you to death with 'em. 663 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,747 - Oh! 664 00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:12,488 - I'm going to slice your Achilles' tendons, peel off 665 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,142 your fingernails, and stick knitting needles in your eyes. 666 00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:15,143 both: Oh, damn. 667 00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:16,231 - Raymond, you were right. 668 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,450 These heists are fun. 669 00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,452 - Fremulon. 670 00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,715 - Not a doctor. Shh.